Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
