Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Your dad touched me again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
