a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
