I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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