Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
