Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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