We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
