I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize