you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize