You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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