this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
