He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
