You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
