she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize