420 ftw
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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