I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
