i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I touched a dick in church today
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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