garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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