What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
