the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
