You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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