I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize