sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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