I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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