I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
