You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize