Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
