For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
