Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He passed out mid-signature
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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