He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
