are you still at the devil's house?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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