His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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