There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
