ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
