at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
