i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
