dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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