I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
