AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
