I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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