He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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