some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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