She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
