dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
