Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
