I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
