I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
