you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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