just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
