dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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