so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
