what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
