coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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