Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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