I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How external is "for external use only"?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
