I met the friendliest cop last night
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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