i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
