we have officially lost it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
