Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
