Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He felt like a one man threesome
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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