His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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