My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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