If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
