hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i think i just lost a toe
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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