I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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