i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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