It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
