he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
