My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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