guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
