I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize